well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Randomize
