i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
