Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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