I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Randomize
