I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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