i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
ok first of all what the fuck
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