just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
