You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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