$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
