that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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