Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
