I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
