Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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