Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
they're like a gay fantastic four
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Randomize
