walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
