Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I wish you could order shots online.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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