i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
