i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
