my room smells like sperm. sweet.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
A+ Viking dick
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