How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
