the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
