He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
It's never too late to be topless.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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