Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
