I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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