I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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