he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
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