The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
