the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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