you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
