Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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