I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
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