playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
