This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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