check it out our google latitudes are spooning
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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