i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
