Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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