Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
