Sponge bath it is.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
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