Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
