i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
