ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I understand Curling. That high.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
