she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I had to cum in my sink.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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