It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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