don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
