did you get engaged???
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
