I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
