Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
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