first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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