"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
