I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
