this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Randomize
