I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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