well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
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Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
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My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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