Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
