i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
