marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
