There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I wear drunk well.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
