My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
