how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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