I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
