the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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