Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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