there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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